Girl Interrupted
Welcome to Summer 2018!
I'm coming to you live from the good old USA this time. I thought I would catch you up on my Interrupted spring/year/life. Because guess what - Life Happened. Again! Geez, it's like that's a theme or something.
I'm writing from my father's house in Upper Michigan, looking out at a clear, sunny day on the northern tip of Lake Michigan. It's not my hometown but it is part of my homeland, and it's beautiful here. It's great to be spending time with my dad, aside from the fact that I'm terribly homesick.
Last time we spoke I was at the end of a day of fasting in March. It truly was an amazing day, and I'm looking forward to a repeat. I had a great month, with both my husband's and my birthdays to celebrate, a trip to the US to prepare for, and a whole summer of working in the garden to look forward to. I was going to yoga twice a week, feeling great, toning up and gaining energy, and my head was back in the game. I LOVE spring! And then, life happened. Again.
I arrived in the US on 3rd April, all ready to spend time at our place in Florida. It was going to be 3 great weeks of catching up with my dad, visiting with friends, driving Dad back to Upper Michigan, and visiting with family on the way. After I had been in the US for about 10 days or so, I went to a doctor appointment with Dad. He had been having pain in his hip, but it wasn't getting any better even after getting treatment for it. As a matter of fact, it was getting worse. A lot worse. My dad, a very active man of 85, wasn't even able to go out for walks or sit for any length of time to do the wood carving that he loves so much. So we went to see the doctor, who told us that dad needed full hip replacement surgery. Then life became a bit chaotic.
There were appointments to keep and things to do, so we still had to make the drive from Florida to Upper Michigan as planned. Then, after only 10 days back in the UP, we turned around and made the drive back down to Florida to prepare for his surgery. Of course, I needed to stay with him to help him through his recovery, so I talked to the great folks at Delta and rescheduled my return flight. Arrangements were made not only for my travel, but also for dad's post-surgical care, some of which would be taken care of by medical staff, and the rest by yours truly. And I was happy to do it, of course. But that meant my 3-week visit turned into 3.5 months. I'm lucky to have an incredibly supportive husband.
Long story short, the past 3 months have been filled with looking after Dad post-surgery, making sure he followed the doctor's instructions (NOT an easy task, believe me); doing the shopping, cooking, cleaning, and laundry; working for a friend who has a landscaping company; doing my best to keep up with my PN Level 2 Certification Program; and finishing my 2nd year as a PN Mentor. Oh, and keeping in touch with my husband. Then, in my free time, looking after my own health.
I've learned some important things. Most of the time I'm pretty good at managing stress. Most of the time I love looking after other people. And after feeling isolated for so long in our new town in Italy, I welcomed the opportunity to be around other people and have a bit of a social life. I was grateful for the chance to spend a lot of time with Dad that I otherwise wouldn't have had. That said, I actually thrive on routine. I like having a regular schedule so I feel like I can keep up with everything, which then allows me to be spontaneous and flexible with the time that's left. So when my routine gets thrown into chaos (which seems like always these past few years), the first thing that gets sacrificed is looking after myself. It's also completely normal and extremely common - we're taught as caregivers that it's our job to make sure everyone else is looked after. But who gives care to the caregiver?
As I've mentioned before, PN has taught me that self-care is NOT selfish, but I've obviously not taken that lesson fully to heart yet. After 3 months in the US, in spite of remaining physically active and mostly on the go, I've managed to hurt my back, get a hairline fracture in one of my toes, and gain 10 pounds. I feel lousy, bloated, lethargic, and unmotivated. Then today I suffered my first migraine in over a year. I feel totally out of balance.
Given that I'm still struggling with my Hashimoto's and menopause and all the issues related to them, it doesn't necessarily matter where I am on the globe - I might have started feeling out of balance anyway. And I ain't gettin' no younger, as I've been reminded many times lately. However, my lifestyle has completely changed since coming back here, which I'm sure is a bigger factor than anything else. And even though I've interrupted my normal life for a very good reason, I've been under a lot of stress. I've had to reverse roles with my father and take care of everything, including him. I'm away from my husband, my home, and all things that are now familiar. I feel like a complete stranger here. I'm dealing with many things that are out of my control and working hard to keep that in perspective. Sometimes the lines between what we can and can't control aren't as clear when we're feeling stress. Because life happens.
I do realise (after it was brought to my attention during a great coaching session) that it is actually good that I've only gained 10 pounds. If I had reverted to my prior stress management technique of emotionally eating my way through all of it, the end result could have been much different. I've stayed active and am finishing the last couple weeks of my trip with daily walks, working out in the yard, taking time to keep up with my studies, and actually doing some writing. I'm controlling the things I can control. And I am reminding myself that I can control the way I choose to look at what is happening and how I respond to it. Worst case scenario, I can just accept that things will remain chaotic for a couple more weeks and let go of any expectations I may have. I can re-assess my situation when I get home.
And speaking of home, I'm not 100% certain what awaits me when I get there, aside from a husband who is eager to reunite with his wife, resuming my household responsibilities (or at least exchanging the ones here for the ones there), a garden in need of a lot more work, and a return to great food and a more relaxed lifestyle. And Prosecco. Don't forget the Prosecco! Those things are good enough for me. I love my dad to pieces, but we are way too much alike to spend so much time in such close proximity, so I'm sure he's quite ready for me to leave as well. Even though we occasionally get a bit snippy with each other these days and there are times when I feel like I'm going to completely lose my mind, I'm so glad we've had this time together. While it's a piece of my life I've given up in one respect, it's always going to be a special piece of my life that I've gained unexpectedly.
My next post will most likely come after I get back to Italy, where I understand that several new adventures await. At the moment, I'm just looking forward to re-connecting with my husband and that beautiful place we call home.
Have a health of a day,
Juli
P.S. A couple of teasers: I have signed on for a special year of coaching (coaches need coaches too), and I'm super excited about it! I'll also be more actively and officially launching my Evexia nutrition coaching activities, so stay tuned for lots of news and updates!